There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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