Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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