I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
