My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
