its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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