plz talk dirty to me
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
