TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
