He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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