kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
