How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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