Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
