Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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