When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
