Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
