it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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