Do you still have your period?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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