who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize