I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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