I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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