Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
