I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
