The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
