woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
