So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
