The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
