you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
