I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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