You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
