Nicole vs. Life
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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