Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
