I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize