I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
