So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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