i permit you to call me
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
