you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize