I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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