He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
