the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i think my cat just said my name.
did you just send me my own nude
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
