i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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