dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize