We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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