She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
