I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
