if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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