He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
