We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
