I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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