I'd wear matching sweaters with you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We need to feng shui this bitch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
