how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
