I seem to have left my pride at pride
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
