My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
