Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
