She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
