Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
