Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize