Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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