I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
