You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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