I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
