She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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