How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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