this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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