He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
