Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
