Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
