That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize