he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize