I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
