we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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