Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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