Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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