Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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