Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
